Do you know what you want?

You have always been indecisive since she stepped into your life.
And now you can't accept the fact that she's leaving you when you have actually planted the idea of she's the one in your mind.
She had her words. She chose him. Not you.
And you came back to me. Looking for me with the hope that my presence will soothe your pain.
As expected, we live up our love back.
I admit, my love for you has always been there. I've never actually killed it. I just keep it safe with me. Because sometimes I feel happy to embrace the love that once we had.

Once again, you changed my mind back. Since the day we met, I've never think twice or think carefully to resist you. I thought I'm strong enough to confront you and be your NORMAL friend. But I got it wrong. My heart skipped a beat when I'm with you. I tried to be there for you.

When...

I am actually attached to someone new.

That night, you apologized to me for what you did. You told me how you wish, we would've stayed longer and stronger. You've made some space for me to put a hope. I wish that hope is true. Without thinking twice, I told the new guy about what had happened.
Yes. I blew off the chance I had with him. I might sound selfish but I really feel we both could work this out this time.

But not really.

I feel more like I don't know what I want. But all I think about is your HAPPINESS. Not mine. YOURS.
Up until today, you still don't wanna leave her alone. You still think you could change her decision.
Which I have already acknowledged.
You told me you still can't get over her neither me.
Which basically, you will keep on kacau both of us.

The feelings, wanting you back keep going strong. Forgetting you seem so impossible when you are still breathing near me.

I've made up my mind. I won't walk away again this time. Not anymore. My ultimate sacrifice was worthless. I want to take back what once was mine. But you still can't decide yet you asked me to wait for you.
I know, I'm not your priority. I have never been.

There are two ways. It's either you get over her and come back to me
or
you will get her back and determine to let me go.

I am torn. You asked me to wait, but I don't know what I'm waiting for.
To get back together or to be left?
I don't know to prepare for the best or the worst.
But I understand. Truly understand.

In the end, your happiness is the only matter.
Because I've tried to be a good girlfriend for someone else but it's not working if you still can't let me go. Because you will keep kacau me and it will be hard for me to be faithful to my partner.
So this is my decision.

As long you are staying, I'll keep trying.

If you are meant to be with her or someone else, and you are happy with that particular person, I won't stand in your way.
Once you have let me go because you are truly happy with somebody, only then I could find my own happiness because you're no longer there. Don't worry about me. I always know Allah has a better plan for me.

All or nothing at all.
Only then I'll be free.

I'm not stupid.
I just want my true love to have his eternal happiness.
Because he ain't like any guy. He's different.
And
I just can't stop loving him.
Who could love you the way I do?
Now I just want you to know, how I'm touched deep in my soul just being with you.

Guess I was trying to turn the clock back.
How come that nothing feels the same now when I'm with you.