Sia-sia.

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"Anis, lelaki ni sebenarnya dia tahu apa yg dia nak. If dia main-main macam tu, maknanya tak sesuai jadi lelaki lah tu. Sorry to say, dia bukan lelaki untuk you."

"Tapi kalau you choose lelaki yang decision tak tetap ni, you yang sakit one day. Girls memang banyak berubah, banyak kelemahan. That's why lelaki kene wise nak bentuk perempuan, to protect her, tunjuk jalan yang betul. Takkan you nak jaga lelaki kot? Cuba fikir dalam-dalam."

"Find someone better than him if you pun rasa mcm tu. Banyak lagi lelaki yang wise. Cari lelaki yang boleh pimpin you, yang boleh bentuk you. Bukan lelaki yang boleh buat you confused. You nak masuk syurga, you kena cari lelaki yang nak pergi syurga. Simple as that."

"Yes, he changed to be a better lover. But not for you. For her. BECAUSE of her. Not you."

"I think he's in his own world of nothing. He doesn't know what he wants and you keep rooting for his happiness. Dah la Anis, he's not worth your sacrifices.

"Then let me ask u :
How long you have waited for that particular IF happens?
Is it worth the wait?
And is it somehow showing sign that it is going to happen?
If the answer is yes i will step down from prohibiting you clinging to Alwi but surely and clearly the answer is NO.
But for you to make this move, its painful. You need to swallow it all although you know that you can't afford it in the first place."

"Kalau dia cari kau, kau lari. Orang lain bole buat. Kalau die cari kau lagi nampak sgt kau layan dia."

Tapi.. aku kesian. Dia takder kawan macam kita. Nobody understands him better than I do. He will get lost.

"Whatever shit happens to him, that's karma!"

"He's giving you false hope. Stick it up into your head."

"From the way I see things, you fucked up yourself more rather than firming yourself up regarding boys but you're just making yourself weaker after he left."

"Whatever decision you'll be making after this, just a little advice; jangan jadi bodoh."






It was the memories.
It wasn't love.
I was wrong.


"Betul tak kalau saya cakap, awak buat semua itu bukan sebab sayang awak dekat dia. Look at yourself. You've been living good for the past few months but because he came back, lama-lama awak get delusional with your memories."

"Awak dah lepaskan dia lama dulu dah."

"Awak.. sampai bila awak nak jadi macam nih? Awak sendiri pun tak pernah sayang diri sendiri, macam mana awak nak sayang dia atau pun orang lain? Sanggup awak seksa diri awak macam nih. Fikirlah. Takder sapa suruh awak buat pilihan, tapi semua orang nak tengok awak happy, happy loving yourself. That's all your need."


"Please Anis.. please forgive yourself. You've had enough. You've wasted your emotion and love for almost 2 years. For nothing. NOTHING."

Try to pull away from what I truly thought was love
Maybe it's a sickness preying on my weakness.