I miss expressing myself

I am turning 28 this year. Life has been hectic and great at the same time. I've been working really hard for the past nine months. I am so lucky to be able to stay with my family and minimize my daily expenses. I managed to save a lot of money for myself. Anyway, here I am doing double jobs and still enjoy juggling between these two.

Anyway, I miss writing so much.

I miss expressing my feelings in form of poetry, long Instagram post, and tweets. Ever since I started working and recovered from my depression, I no longer write.

Well, mainly because I am lazy.

My time is too occupied that makes my creative juice dried up.

I am becoming reserved.

I am in a state where I don't proud of what I'm doing. Not exactly in that way but more like, I'm working hard to be where I want to be someday but right now, I am not in impressive state yet.

There are so many things happened in my life including my relationship. I'm keeping it low to a point no one knows or could sense that I've been dating someone for more than one year now. Except for few close friends. They knew about him.

I never post anything about him on my social media accounts but doesn't mean he is unappreciated. Like I said, I'm becoming reserved. Although there are times I really want to post his photo and our stories but I always told myself the time hasn't arrived yet. 

So, he is one of the reasons why I want to start to write again. I never wrote a poem for him. I never dedicated any post for him. I really like what we have now and how I keep it so low from everyone.

Other than that, I want to keep this blog as a diary or journal whatever you call it. I think this is one of the important phase in my life and I need to carve this memory in a form of writing.

But let's start with a simple introduction.

I graduated from UPM in 2016 which is one year due because I had to repeat my final semester.

Why?

Because I suffered from depression during my final year and I couldn't study at all. I failed miserably and so many people affected because of my selfish act. But I was mentally ill back then. Long story short, my lecturers helped me out and a big thanks to my university counselor for putting me back on the track.

So, I managed to finish my study and graduated a year later.

During my recovery period, I went to stay in SRI LOVELY, Sik, Kedah to discover about permaculture and organic farming. I stayed there for almost three months and yes, I felt it was like a rehab. I managed to get back on my feet and reclaim myself.

Then I came back to KL.

I knew I had to find a work but at the same time I wasn't keen for office work although I have a Degree certificate.

I applied for a part-time post at TGV Cinemas AU2 and I got accepted.

At the same time also, I started to do home tuition and became a pritave tutor under MyTutor Academy.

Although it seemed like odd jobs but I managed to earn the monthly income as same as fresh graduates. 

Oh man, I'm feeling sleepy now. I better hit the sack by now. I need to do opening at 9am tomorrow morning.

Will continue tomorrow.