Little Girl

*Today he didn't send me a message. I felt annoyed yet kinda sad.

He never asked me how was my day
He never asked me how i felt today
He never asked me what i was doing
He never asked me if there's anything happened to me today
He never asked me what im gonna do tomorrow
He never asked me whether i had eaten or not
He never tried to cheer me up whenever im feeling blue
He was running away instead and leave me alone to cheer myself up
It's always me the one who story my day to him
He never story his day to me unless im asking about it
He always change the topic whenever it comes to his "a little more personal"
Argh! Im fucking hate that! Why can't you just tell me?! But when it comes to mine, you're the one who pushing me to tell about it
Why it's always im the one who asking him so many questions?
Why he never anwers all the questions that i've been asking?
Why it always seems that im the one who so interested in you
I am nothing for him but just a little girl who can always cheer people up, making stupid jokes, love smiling and laughing with her eyes closed.
I don't want he likes me or look me as that cheerful little girl
I want to be his lady, his only one
But i know, that's so fucking impossible
It won't happen... I knew that
Eventually, im just a cheerful little girl who brighten up his every single day.
Im just a little girl who is not more or less than a clown to him.
And he will always looking me in that way
He'll never has a feeling on me.
He says he's missing me. Hell yea... he's missing my jokes! That's all!
I also will try not to love him that much.
Im just A LITTLE GIRL to him after all.
So, beat it!

Once again...
Me, myself and I are idiot!!
I shouldn't like him! I shouldn't miss him!
I should've killed this feeling before but im afraid i will don't have a chance to get, to feel, to experience this feeling again and to like someone so much.
It's beautiful, it's lovely yet it makes me weaker to face the truth if he actually don't like me.
I think...im fine with it. If he doesn't has the same feeling towards me. It's okay. I just love the feeling to love someone coz i know no man could fall in love with me. NEVER!! I couldn't be loved by any man!!