Birthday Shoutout to Zue!

Today is Zue's birthday...

SOMEONE IS TURNING GODDAMN 26 TODAY BAHAHAHA!!!

She is someone dearest to me. Someone special too. She is the one and the only my internet friend yang masih wujud since 2001. 2001 people! We were 11 years old back then! We knew each other from mIRC. Although she lives far far far away from me but it's amazing that we never lost from each other's radar. And I tell you what, we've communicated through various mediums, you name it:

mIRC

Yahoo! Messenger

Snail mail

SMS

Blogging

Friendster

MySpace

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

WhatsApp

In fact, she was my first and only pen pal I've ever had. We would write to each other since we were in Form 1. It happened that way because her father cut off the internet line so she can no longer online. Then, when we were in Form 4, we stopped writing to each other but we went for blogging instead. The rule is still the same - we still caught up with each other. Come to think of it, dari zaman budak hingusan, zaman sekolah menengah, masuk universiti and now, sampai dia da bekerja pun we're still in touch.

Throughout the years, we would see each other at least once a year. Zue (and her mother) always come to KL for shopping spree. But I've visited her once at Bintulu, Sarawak. What a memory~ Nevertheless, I hope the friendship that we have and the bond that we shared will never be gone. Insyaallah. And this year we both are turning 26 but at least Zue has found someone and I'm still single as fuck. HAHAH.

Memories when I visited her at Bintulu. Those are my letters to her.

Happy birthday, babe! I love you always, my cyber friend!

Awan

Today, I met Shazwan after four years long. To be honest, I thought we never would be friends again.

Four years ago, he had a hard time in between keeping his girlfriend happy and continue befriending with me. We both knew she is a super jealous type of girlfriend and because of her, Shazwan decided to abandon our friendship. I was so mad at that time and as time passed by, I missed him - my dearest best friend.

I felt like a part of me is gone because out of many person in this world, he is the one that I grew up together with. From the age of fifteen until twenty one. He has always been there for me, we had lotsa crazy memories and foolish moments together. We would go outing after our tuition classes, playing snookers, eating cakes and ice creams, and you name it. He also look after me when I was going through my first heartbroken. Because of devastation, I turned myself into a playgirl. But he never left my side. In fact, I started to take him for granted and we had this silly fight. He never judged me. He celebrated my birthday. He was being a good friend.

I guess I never knew what I had until I lost him, too. For me, the growing up years are very important period of my life. So, when he disappeared, I felt so sad and hurt because he took away that part of me too, like how I lost that part of me to Alwi.

But since last year, he's been trying to reach for me and I never saw it coming. Or, never really saw he was coming back. It's funny that we both never really changed. I still remember that he was socially awkward back then but I never thought that we would end up being best friend. I got his jokes and he likes to give me a bitch slap (which is good) haha. After all, I'm just glad that those four year gaps felt nothing now.

Celebrating Alia's Birthday

My dear friend, Alia Azhari is turning 20th today!
Hooray!

Me and Shazwan went to her house before the clock showing 12. We got ready with a cake and candles.
And.. wait! Where is her house? It took me like five minutes finding her house because most of the houses there have the same design of front door! Umm.. yeah, I only remember how her front door looks like. Tee-hee.

After I've found her house, yes, yes, the right one. I called her and she has fallen asleep. Alahai... "please... pick up the phone and wake up Alia..please"... and yes! She answered my call with her sleepy voice. I asked her to come out and she thought to go somewhere else but I just said, "all you need to do is just open your front door." Shazwan was holding the cake and hide himself from the front door. As Alia opened the door, I quickly sang the happy birthday song. Then Shazwan came out with the cake! Of course, we got to made Alia awe. Hehe.

The next day, we all go to Chili's KLCC to celebrate her birthday. I'm so happy we gotta celebrate her birthday and made her day. As she always told me she really hates her birthday because she never really had a chance to celebrate or her friends make one for her. Well, this time is our pleasure having it for you dear. =)

Is this how the book ends?

When I opened my Facebook today, I was shocked with her relationship status.

The first thing appeared on my mind, "are they got into a big fight? Maybe she just wanted to 'tunjuk perasaan' to him?"

And she replied to me, "it's more than that.."

I checked out both Facebook and Myspace (yea, me being stalker).. and I was surprised with what I've found..

Oh my god!
Why is this happening to them??
All I can feel is sad..
I feel really really sad...
This is a very very sad situation..
Why they have to choose this way?
After all these years..
After what have been said and done..
Just in the blink of an eye, things could change..
Completely change...
It could become worst
or miracle could happen..

I was there.. I watched the seed grown, the flower blossom beautifully and now it's suddenly die.. it didn't even has a chance to go wilt.. its just dead.. it's gone..

It's still unbelieveable..

:'(

I wish I didn't know that

Sometimes I wish I didn't know what have you done.
Sometimes I wish you didn't tell me another dark secret of yours.
Sometimes I wish I didn't catch you lying.
Sometimes I wish I didn't know how beautiful your true colors are.

Time can change everything

Now,


The girls in my class, Section 7 / Sem 1 / 2008


My roommates - Nisa and Ogy


back then......




5K / 2007


My clique


My besties


only we both knows..

now,
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend,
Lucky to have been where I have been



They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this

and how amazing time can bring people apart
and
time also can bring people closer.

We're just good friends, aren't we?

GIRLS. Have you been so close to a guy while you are taken? Or be good friends with him and you know that he likes you and may have feelings for you even though he knew that you are taken and he is taken too?

GUYS. Have you feel there's someone (slightly) special for you even though you already have a girlfriend and you do love your girlfriend so much?

*sigh* Why must this kind of thing happened to me? Do you still remember Al? A so called friend of mine who flirts with me? Oh yeah, he's the Nerdy Alwi I mentioned in the previous post. Haha. He looks nerdy but seriously, he's a very sweet talker.

Nothing is going on between me and Asyraf neither with him. It's just kind of bugging me when some my friends can't accept why I still be friends with Alwi, invited him to our school carnival and yadayada. I don't know how many times I have to say WE ARE JUST GOOD FRIENDS. I don't give a shit whether he treats me very nice like I'm his girlfriend. He is a nice person and I believe he would give the same treat to his other friends too. Regardless whether they are his guy or girl friends.

Like Shaz said, me and Alwi are like having some kind of scandal. HA HA HA. Yuhh rite~ Of course she doesn't mean that. There's NOTHING going on between us. If he wants to flirt with me, I will stop message him. And like Nana always said, why don't just I avoid him? If there's any fastest and easiest way to avoid someone without hard feelings, I would have done that a long time ago. I can avoid him if he doesn't contact me at all. I don't care. But how would you feel if you keep getting message from him asking how are you doing and such. I feel guilty and sorry for him. Besides, I'm not that kind of person who can easily break off a friendship. I like to make friends with everyone and maintain my friendship with them.

He once confessed to me that he does like me and sometimes he put me as his first priority not his girlfriend. Means that, I am someone special to him. But I guess, maybe that's due to the loneliness he feels. His girlfriend going to SBP and they are not really contacting each other because she doesn't bring her hand phone to school. Heh. That's a lame excuse I guess. Erm. Actually, they had broke up once before this but he decided to give it another try and not long after that, she asked for a break up but he doesn't want. Until today, they still continue their relationship but I'm having a doubt with her... She's like... Anywho, he would have let go his girlfriend if he really wants more from me right? So I assumed that I might just a special friend of his. Nothing more than that and he loves his girlfriend so much.

Now I realized how hard it is to please both my friends and my boyfriend. My friends doesn't like I'm keeping in touch with Alwi while Asyraf said that he understands my situation even though he doesn't like Alwi. He never said he doesn't allow me to be friends with Alwi but of course I should have handle the situation better. So my friends, respect my decision kayh? Even Asyraf can understand me, why not you? =)

MCKL Annual Treasure Hunt

My friends and I participated the MCKL Annual Treasure Hunt. It was my first time going for a treasure hunt. I group with Pui Yee. I fetched her at PUTRA Station and on our way to MCKL, there was an accident. A motorcyclist died with lots of blood on the road. Mannn.. it's still early in the morning and you get die already? Awww... such a shame. Huk huk..

When we reached there, we got our goodies bags and changed into the T-shirts they provided. While waiting for the opening ceremony, I read the guide book and tried to figure out some of the questions and the riddles given.

Around 8 AM something, the race started. Our first destination is KL Sentral Station. We have to RUN from the MCKL to the station. It was damn tiring. After solved the first mission, we headed to Masjid Jamek, search for the answer then off to KLCC. Since I'm lazy to write more, I just quote what Pui Yee wrote on her blog. Hehe.

Actually we did much more than just counting party hats. But I'm too lazy to say so much. I'll show you the clue book if you want. LOL. Then off to Dang Wangi. Counted some steps and off to Bukit Nanas Monorail station. Then off to Bukit Bintang. Then off to Times Square. TIRING!!! Waaa~~~! I ran like there was no tomorrow. Though my legs already felt like breaking I still ran. T.T Sweating like mad. I think I got dehydration. HAHAHA. But I was still able to go to the loo. HEHE. The clues are silly. HMPH. Ler me give you an example of it:

We take care of your feet. if you can't find us look harder and harder, we're right between your eyes.

Get it? Know the answer? Well, let me tell you what I think it is. I think the answer is NOSE. You know the shoe shop that sells shoes? LOL. There's a NOSE in KLCC. Then there were many other questions. Tiring day. After we handed in the answer sheet, me and Anis went to BORDERS to read some books

At BORDERS, I went to the Humor section and read some funny books. Then, Pui Yee came to me and suddenly she pulled this book and asking, "What book is this aa?" with the title 'WHY DO MEN FALL ASLEEP AFTER SEX?'

ROFL!!! Before your mind get dirty, it's NOT a porn book at all. It's just a book that explains things that related to sex (obviously) and such thing. In case you're wondering why do men fall asleep after sex is because they produce some kind of enzyme or whatever it's called during orgasm which women does not have and that makes them feel tired. Plus, they have more muscles than women do. Simply to say, they work very hard~ WAHAHAHAHA!!

We were too preoccupied with reading that we went late for the speeches. So, when we reach there, the speeches were done and they were having lucky draw. Right when I just sat down, they call out my number. Waa~~ I have such amazing power in getting myself a prize. Too bad the prize is only a T-shirt and a pair of socks. And the price tag is still attached! So, anything lar.

We, (me, Anis, Steph and Abby) took our lunch (chicken rice from chicken rice shop) at the food court which they prepared a special seating place for us next to the theme park. You can hear everything very clearly that I got myself a headache listening to people screaming... Then we went to bowl. Hmm... Hmmmm.......... Most of you that went bowling with me before would have already know the result of the bowl... I got last again. Haih. But atleast this time I'm no the only one last. Wakakaka. Anis and I both got 29 points. HEHEHE.

So, today was my first time to hang out with the Chinese girls. One thing that I noticed it was pretty secured to hang out with them because no one disturb us. Haha. You know, the bunch of stupid Malay guys who like to disturb and annoy girls when they are walking around mall. So yeah.. I'm looking forward to hang out with them again someday!

Owhh.. Steph! I 0wn3d YOU at the Ice Hockey game!!! HAHA!!

Lonely in the Crowd

I'm being so emo today. Hate it. I hate it when people see me cry. It annoys me when they keep asking me why I'm crying. I just hate to cry in front of people!

Today, my school got Hari Membina Azam. As usual, I fell asleep during the motivation speech. Actually, I do fall asleep fast in my school hall. Nothing happens till the climate of the event. We all have to sing a few songs as a symbol that we are strong in anything that we're doing. (Actually, I just made it up) *cough* So, we all sang Fikirkan Boleh (lame song, i know), Heal The World, Hero by Mariah Carey and Greatest Love of All. In the hall, I sat with my classmates and most of them have their own clique. When we were singing the first three songs, we were still sitting in our lines because our discipline teacher didn't allowed us to stand up like the previous years. We don't know why. But when the fourth song which is the The Greatest Love of All began to start, she allowed us to stand up and people started to gather around with their clique.

Somehow, I'm started to feel lonely in the crowd, feel left out and sad. As myself singing, I saw my friends' cliques keep holding each other. Singing together. Just like I used to do when I was in Form 3 and last year. During that time, I was so close with Farah, Ru, Ain, Izati, Shaf and Amy. Now, I find myself standing back and reminiscing when I have to watch my friends holding with their besties and clique. I remember the time I spent together with them and thought we've should be together by now but what I was see right before my eyes are....

Farah and Amy holding hands with their classmates. Ru, Ain and Shaf as well. With their own clique. I know we no longer spend much time together because we are in the different classes and they've got their own clique but seems like they've forgotten me. From behind, I watching and waiting. I wonder if they would atleast turn their head around to find me or feel something is incomplete. I was hoping and waiting but... none of them try to look at the back. I feel so sad. Even until now. Plus, Shaf is being cold to me as school started. I don't know what's wrong with her. Last year also she did the same thing to me. Her reason was, I'm becoming Shaz. *sigh* But now? She can't keep on blaming me. Even I noticed that she's hardly to approach me or hardly say anything to me.

When the song get into the chorus, it moves me when I listen to the lyrics. I burst into tears. I felt so left out. It's not like I can't join and sing together with other cliques. But how would you feel if someone suddenly turn up and join your group? Even you are nice with the person but you must feel disturbed because you want to be together with your group. Right after the session finished, Hidayah noticed I was crying and I'm glad that she comforted me. Thanks dear. I really need it. In canteen, I catch Ru and hugged her from back. Suddenly, I felt like crying. I told her I miss the good old days. But she... just forget it.. My tears still couldn't stop from coming out. I decided to let go all my tears. I cried in the toilet. I still couldn't believe how emo I was. Hurmm.. somehow I still shed a tear for what happened today. ='(

Happy Belated Friendship Day

Hey peeps! Happy Belated Friendship Day! Haha.. Hey! Im so happy today!! Why? Hehe.. guess what? Me and Del are friends back! Tralala! I didn't expected her to come and see me. But im really glad that she does that. So, i was discussing with Pui Yee bout our CyberlinQ thingy then she came to me and said wanna meet me. I was wondering and waiting for the words to come out from her mouth. She smiled at me and began to talk. She said she no longer mad at me and she forgave me but she still hates Wiwi and Shaz. Hoho.. i also don't care bout them anymore. Errkk.. i mean, its between me and Del now. Im tired of asking them to say sorry to Del. If she still wanna hates them, i don't care. It's none of my bussines. Am i being selfish? Kinda.. but for my own good. If people don't like or don't want, i can't force them to do so right? They are big girls now. They can think on their own. So do i. But i really thanked Shima coz i don't think so Del would changed her mind on me without her words bout me. Awwww.. man! I just simply love her! But she was right bout Del, Del can be a good friend but a real bad enemy. Familiar with that phrase? Yerrop.. from The Phantom Of The Opera.

Here it goes again....

Back then...

and now, once again im losing a friend on My Space. She just not someone whom i know throughout My Space. She's my schoolmate and we were nice to each other! Atoii! Hurm.. actually im not really involved with it. I was saying the wrong thing on the wrong time at the wrong place! (I got this phrase from my Phys Teacher XD) Hemph.. So the story goes like this. It's between my friends, Wiwi, Shaz, Me (durr) and um.. let's call that person as a Del. Hewhew~ (I don't know why i choose that name). Wiwi and Del were a good friend. So, it's start with a poem that Del wrote by herself and gave it to Wiwi. Once i read it i knew its a friendship poem. But i don't know why Wiwi and Shaz were making fun of the poem.. erk.. her, perhaps? Okay.. some of the words that she used in that poem maybe "too romantic" for them but its just a poem after all. This is what happened when the science stream girl thinks too much. Hoho. Since that day, Wiwi started talking bout her with Shaz over the My Space. Yerp.. they were making fun of her. Meantime, Del were being nice to me and Wiwi started to ignored her.

After quite a long time, finally Del found out ALL the comments that have about her on Shaz and Wiwi pages. Heh.. She burst out. It was totally fucked up, i tell you. So she sent a message to me and Wiwi telling she has know bout that and our friendship was over. Honestly, i didn't read all the words that she typed in the messages coz it's sickening me! Plus, can't she just turn off the Caps Lock? What's wrong with her keyboard? LOL. She called Wiwi [put any words you want] and swored too much! Geez..! Im fucking hate to see people swearing! Im not saying i never swore but come on, it's totally rude to say it many times. She's just over reacting. I did heard some stories bout her when she gets mad, but she's seriously need an anger management. XD Okay.. that's not the point anyway.

I did realized im on the wrong side and its our fault then i said sorry to her and asked an apology from her. She forgave me but sounds like not sincere enough.

"... and now i am goin to make u pay fot da pain u caused me i thought dat as we got older people would grow da FUCK UP!dis isnt kindergarten sweetie stop playin childish games no more rumors, no more pranks, no more callin name

Now since im mature ill forgve and forget so dont worry really its not dat i hate u its jus dat I DESPISE U!but watch out nex time u pull dat shit yeah..dats a threat!!

ROSES R RED
VIOLETS R BLUE
TRASH IS STINK
N SO R U!

P/S---Wiwi is my FUCKIN WORST ENEMY && her friends is my WORST ENEMY!!"

Hemph.. what do you think? She got some point at there but i still not satisfied and so i decided to see her. I just know what she's gonna say. Atleast, i wanna do that just to satisfy myself. I also ask Wiwi and Shaz to say sorry but seems like they not really bother with it expecially Shaz. Coz it's not her problem.

Shaz said, we were not suppose to involved with this matter. Its Wiwi fault for started talking about Del with her on the My Space. We are the victims. So she's the one who suppose to settle it not us. *sigh* I knew it she gonna says something like that. Of course she don't really care with Del coz she's not really be friends with her. I was Del friends that's why i think too much about it! Hemph... tomorrow is Monday. Im wondering how im gonna say sorry to her? Im currently imagine Del's mad face. But she the one who declared the "war" between us. Hoho..

Going Out With Guys

Back from stadium, quickly i took a shower and rushed to my tuition center. I knew i was late but today the teachers didn't really teach us. It's more to study group actually. So i don't really mind if i come late or early to the tuition. After the class is finished, i followed my tuitionmates, Amirul, Roy and Shazwan to play pool which is located near to our tuition center. They did asked me to join them before this but i've chose not to go for some reason.

When people saying pool or snooker, what's the first thing appear in your mind? If me, the pool table, the long stick, the balls and of course the dim light and cigarettes smokes. Eheh.. so as i entered the shop, that's what i saw. Luckily, during that time there were not many people so i think it's pretty safe for the girl like me to enter the shop and enjoy playing pool. Huhu..

Since there were four of us, i teamed up with Amirul to beat Roy and Shazwan. My first lesson was how to hit the ball. After learning that thing for a while, i managed to hit and make two balls entered the hole. Pretty good eh for the first timer? Hehe.. we played for about an hour then we went to KLCC.

When we reached TGV, the que line was so damn long. After que up for about half an hour, they bought a ticket for When A Stranger Calls. Actually, im the one who suggested to watch that movie. I really wanted to see that movie indeed. As usual, we walked around while waiting for our show time. Guess what? While waiting for our show time, i've been to the toilet for three times. It's totally ruined my mood. I don't know what's wrong with my stomach. Suddenly it being bitch when im about to enter the cinema. I hate that when it happens. I guess it must be Roy's Roti Boy that he bought for me. But i just told them im probably having a period pain. I don't like to talk very much when im having a stomach ache. The movie.. it's nice. I think it's worth it to watch it.

After that, Amirul and Shazwan treat me and Roy to Haagen Days. It's a ice-cream cafe. Actually Shazwan is the one who really wanted to eat his favourite ice-cream. Amirul shared his ice-cream with me while Shazwan shared his ice-cream with Roy. It thought they wanna go back home but they dropped by to Ampang Park to play pool...again. Heh..it must be easy for a guy to go back home late at night but of course i didn't follow them this time.

Celebrated Izati's Birthday

Ahh yea..this is a continuous from the previous post. As i expected, im the first person to reached KLCC. I hate to come first. Coz it's unfair i think. Everytime im going out with them, i'll try to come late. The reason why i come late is i don't want to wait them all by myself. Its pretty dangerous isn't it? Atleast, they've got each other while waiting for me. But me? *shrug*.

After we all met up, we were having an argument with Izati. She wanted to watch a movie. But, of course we all disagree with her. Its such a waste to watch movie. Not only that, the movie that she wanted to watch is Loh Kong? Um..the horror movie from Thailand. Since she's the Birthday Girl, we just follow her then. Me and Ruhanna were asked to buy the ticket. Yesh..thank god coz we're not allowed to watch that movie. 18 PL... And it's so obvious that both of us are under age. Hoho..! What's next? Farah and I continue with our plan. We wanted to have a lunch at park.

Finally, that plan came true. It's been a very long time since i suggested it to Farah. But.... it's not what i expected. We came on the wrong day. Is today ASEAN Day? Coz there are alot of Indonesian, Philipinos, Vietnamese and others hang out at KLCC park today! OMG..not only that, i think 97% of people that hang out at the park were man! Yea...male. They were everywhere...by group of course. Eheh...our dirty mind started doing their job. Hoho.. We've got a nice place eventually. Yea..nice~ It suppose to be cloudy today but it turned out to be very hot. Guess what? We all were eating KFC under very hot shiny day. Hoho...thank god all the chickens didn't become roasted chickens.

Im not remember very clearly what happened next. Blalalalalala.... we all sat, having some ABC at Picnic. (Now it's called Signature, isn't it?) About 5 minutes after that, we gave her our present. Nothing interesting happened after that. We all went back home.

Weird Girl

So, there is this weird girl in my class. Not really weird but slumber enough to make she seems weird. This girl named Amirah. I think she's weird in person. Maybe it's just me but...everytime looking at her i can't stop giggling. Hehe...Last Monday, during Chemistry lesson...we all not finish our homework so it's very natural to see people xerox others work. I did finished my homework and while talking to Shaqila, the girl sat beside me... i saw Amirah xerox someone's exercise book. But, i didn't bother to know who's the owner of that book. Then, the teacher started to teach us. Right before my eyes, i saw Amirah slumberly and slowly put back MY exercise book on my table. She even didn't say anything to me. I was like, "o_0! Huh?" To be honest, i didn't mad at all..i just found it's so weird. She atleast should ask me first or let me know that she want to copy my answer. I told to Shaqila about it and she also has a weird experience with Amirah. She even told me that she think Amirah is weird.

Okay....it's not only me then. She told me that, when she and Danusha entered the lab and they're about to sit down next to each other...suddenly, Amirah came, took out the stool and sat between them..!? Can you imagine that? That's really funny though! LOL..okay..next scene. The morning before we went off to Taman Botani, we were taking a group photo right? When we all want to take the whole group picture, we saw her and called her, "Amirah! Could you take our photo please?" .....

Guess what? She didn't take our photo... she was posing in Farah's place instead! OMG!! That's totally LMAO!! Geez! We all were giggling at behind her. She should be thankful coz we were keen enough not to say, "Hey! We asked you to take our photo not to be in the photo!" Right away after she left us, we all were die laughing!


Doesn't she felt something is wrong?

It's Just A Bag

Finally, on last Saturday i got myself a new school bag. *sigh* I know it's been 2 weeks of school and it's been very hard for me bcoz i was using a one patch shoulder bag. Geez..it hurts my shoulder. You know, how thick and heavy Form 4 text book is. Plus, with all the exercise books. I went to KLCC with my parents and bought that new bag and a new pair of sneakers. *wink* Yeah... If only i knew actually im the one who decided the place, I'd love to go shopping at Times Square rather than KLCC though. In Times Square, there are more store that selling bags than the KLCC. So, i ended up by pick a new design from Converse. There are only two colours on the display. I chose the green one bcoz the light chocolate is Farah's.

On this morning, as i put my ass to my chair in class, Shaz said Izati was mad at me bcoz my new bag is exactly same like her. Im quite suprised to know that bcoz i thought only Farah use that bag among us. Believe it or not, eventhough it's been two weeks im attending to school I. NEVER. REALIZED. nor SAW Izati's bag before. Yea..because she were in 4B class which i rarely meet her now except during recess but....i never bother to know how her bag looks like.

During recess, once again, Ain and Ruhanna (if im not mistaken) told me that..yea, Izati mad at me bcoz of that bag. Now..it's really bother me. Why the heck you want to mad at someone just bcoz that person using the same bag with you? Then, i explained everything to my buddies about the bag thingy. I know nothing about her bag and how its looks like. Somehow, Farah added, she also was mad at Izati when saw Izati also using the same bag's on the second day. Now, she knew how it feels. I was like..."What? You were mad?"

Geez! What's wrong with people nowadays...don't make me to start singing Crazy by Simple Plan...Is everybody going crazy? Why people get mad when see somebody else using the same bag? Can anybody tell me what's going on? Tell me what's going on? LOL...come on..it's just a bag!

I've got nothing to do

I know..sorry for the lack of update. But, what can you expect from a student that having a school holiday right now and didn't go out very much? Yeah...im kinda lazy to get my ass off from this comfortable chair. Hehe...

Recently, i've change both MySpace and Friendster's profile. I love the colour scheme. If you want to see my page, click the buttons under My Networks.

Lately, i always talk on the phone with Shafeena. Yeah! It's so fun to talk with her. But, talking for only one hour never get enough. She said, we've to meet. Yeah..she was right. Erm...suddenly i miss Nana and Zue so much! Hermmm...it's been awhile since i chat with Nana.

Yesterday, i cleaned up and organized my folder bcoz its size was larger than 2.23 Gigabyte. Wow..isn't that awesome!!? Hahah...! But, i still didn't burn all my stuff yet bcoz the DVD size is 4.7 Gigabyte. It's such a waste right if i burn my stuff right now? So, what i've to do right now is....yeah! Collect more things! Hehe..

After dinner, i texted Shazmiera. I just want to invite her to come to my open house that probably will be held on November 29th. Heh..then she replied, "You must miss me, right"...errrk? Did i? Puhlezz...Rather than think of you, it's much better think of Mikey. Tee-hee! Then, she asked me what im doing during this holiday, i texted her back, "Nothing much. Going out and watching some movie". She replied, "Owh...are you going out with those kids?". I was like, ...those kids? How could she? Yeah..those kids are my gang..Farah, Ain, Ruhanna, Izati and Amy! Maybe it's just me, but i don't like the way she says that. It's like, they all are kinda a low class people and she is a high class people. Then, i told her bout our school magazine and reminded her to take it during PMR's result come out. My sentence was like this, "...MCR's result. Eyh! No. PMR's result! BTW, MCR Rox my sox!" Then, she said something like this, "Eih! No MCR okay!" with no smilies or whatever. It's not that i can't accept her joke or what but if you could see the way she says it with her intonation, then you'll get me. I don't know what's wrong with me, why i couldn't accept her "jokes" sometimes. The way she says it, is so wrong. Doesn't looks like she's joking. And, that's made me annoy sometimes.

When i was writing and bad mouthing bout my friends expecially Shaz, i wondering will they read my post or not. Hopefully not. They kinda people that will not read people's blog. Let's say, if Shaz read this. I just can imagine how her face will looks like. Full with hatred and cursing me. Heh...

I managed to handle it

At that moment, i mean after got sound but that lil' kid. I take a look at her forum that she joined. Ok! Now i got it. Im not trying to bad mouthing about the forum. But, what i can see is the forum is still new. And there alot of person like her too. I don't know what will happen to them if they join mine. I mean, the forum that now i joined.

Well, if you want to know why i exhort her is bcoz maybe i've seen alot things like that in my forum. You know, the concept is just same like our upbringing at home. My forum is a big and global forum. There is alot older and mature fans in there. It's kinda annoying to see teenies saying, "gerard is hot! i want to be his wife!" or stuff like that. Mostly the teenies that act like that is 15 and below. So, now you get it, right?

Im really thankful to Shima who was online at that time for trying to listen to me and cool me down. And of course to Nana, which really help me alot. This is what she wrote to me.

first of all, anis, there are millions of mcr/gerard's fan from all over the world! yes that girl is obsessed with gerard and we dont know wheater it is true or not about the online stuff right? but remember, everyone has their own right to do what they want..look im not really on her side but u have to understand that everyone has their own way of thinking. maybe some ppl who browse through her page and look at the caption maybe said "ala biase la budak2.." hey, she's only 14 anis..she;s too childish..*erk, like we're not* but maybe the way she thinks is immature..<==this is what actually u mean to her i guess..ppl is soo unpredictable..so you have to be prepared to face all this kind of person..=) i explain it in a short version but i know u'll understand what i've type here..

about the apology, erm..if she said she wont apologised u, then what for u begged for that? if she prays something bad will happened to you, that all are just bullshits..ALLAH takkan kurniakan doa org yg menjatuhkan org lain..=) dun worry about that..if she dont wanna accept ur apology, carry on with ur life..dun worry aite? doesnt effect anything in ur life pon..she wanna go to manhattan? so what? like we care! hehe..u'll get a job in a few years time, collect enough money that go to europe and saksikanlah mcr itu puas2 ok? dun be sad anymore..im here for you..=) cheer up girl

love, nana

I end up by found alot of MCR pictures and posted them in the forum. Not only that, i read their old interviews, articles and so on. Just like doing some research on certain thing. Haha..seeing them and getting know them better, just make me happy again!..Totally a good therapy for me!

p/s: I got a new friend bcoz of MCR. I got an enemy bcoz of MCR too. Great! Fair and square!

a Conflict on MySpace

This girl just added me on myspace recently. She happen to be a fan who obsesses over Gerard. She will post a bulletin with a title like, "Gerard Love Me", Gerard this, Gerard that. In her comment section, there are a bunch of people like her too. They said, "Gerard is mine only.", "Yeah, You are Gerard's wife" and stuff like that. I don't have to tell you what she put the caption on Gerard's photos. You knew it. BTW, she is 14. So, my first impression to her was she might love Gerard only and not MCR, and she probably didn't really know about MCR.

Last evening, i gave her a comment. I said, i feel annoy everytime see her bulletins. At the end of the comment, i said something like she being immature. I don't really remember why i said it. Maybe becoz of her obsession. But, i didn't really mean it. And i still wanna be friends with her at that time. My comment look like this.

Haha! You the one who suppose to be relax, gal! ...herm...hehe...okay...

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
You happen to be the kind of person who obsesses over bands and dream of marrying their members now. And i really hate that kind of person.

I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means.
I thought you kind of person who didn't appreciated the music. Expecially MCR's.

To be a joke and look, another line without a hook. I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
You should realized now, you suppose not to show that you really obsesses with Gerard. Many of their fans, expecially "our senior" who supporting them from beginning if see you, well...you know what they gonna do. Take a good hard look!

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all i had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.

Frankly speaking, that was my first impression. But now i see you as the second impression which much better than the first one. And, i didn't hate you that much. It just annoy me when seeing people say, "Gerard is mine" and stuff like that. Heh...sorry if i taking it seriously...but you will know what im trying to say when you know the senior fans and joined a big forum. Try to be more matured, will you? I just feel getting comfortable with you. =)...Night!

I love Mikey so much! But i didn't show it bcoz i don't want to share him with anyone else! *runs away*

The meaning are different bcoz i "sang" this song to her with my own meaning. At 2 am, she sent me a message. I just read the first line. From the first line, i can see how mad she is to me bcoz im calling her being immature. But, i didn't read the whole message bcoz it kinda long and i felt very sleepy at that time. Before i slept, i was thinking to apologize to her tomorrow for calling her being immature and wanna ask her if she would accept me as her friend.

Back from school, i quickly opened myspace inbox and im kinda suprised to saw a bunch of message from her. Finally, i read the whole message that she sent to me last night.

gosh!..u fucking sooo matured!..(if that's wut u want me to think)..come on now,Im only 14...if i say so i like Gerard...its my business.....u know wut,i'm soo mad at you..no offence..guess wut,i like mcr since like late 2003...i have know their songs..i memorise them...i gadoh wif my parents just to get their clothes and tie in the net..i tried too many things..I'm being considered as one of the *seniors*...hey girl...don cari pasal wif me if u feel 'something' coz I sent many 'gerard is mine!' bulletins...as i wrote..im only 14!!!...so young..If you're so matured u can think about that..IT IS A PUPPY LOVE!...come on...soon or later i'll get over with it..just pliz...PLIZZ....I'm begging you.. let me just continue loving gerard...(eventhough he doesnt know im exist)...

i'm trying to get close to you ...mcr's fans are all the same...don judge people by just the age..come...lets berbaik..okay..im sorry if all the 'Gerard is mine!' bulletins annoy you...pliz accept my apology and get it over now...

but i want to send many buletins about gerard..i'm cwazy about him..yeah of course..once when i looked at his face for the first time..i think...yeah,he's cute..but now..i dunno why..2005 is like the best ''get to know gerard'' time..i don want to miss it...pliz pliz pliz...Im a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY sensitive girl...if u don believe me..just ask any of my frens here in myspace...i almost hurt my fren over a boy...so if i sent u comments that showed u that im a fresh man,loser,junior lopek,budak mentah or anything like that...well actually im not....but surely,im mentah* to gerard..but not to MCR...

I dont want to send this message at your comment box coz...i don want you and I to get bad names...


I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me

Demolition lovers..mcr

bye bye fren..

These are my reaction when i read it. Mad of course. But not as she did.
1. I know. I don't have a right to interfere people's life and obsession. I suppose to show some respect to her and i did.

2. She knew MCR in late 2003?!..Im highly doubt about that. In Malaysia, i don't think so people knew MCR in late 2003. I mean, MCR getting well-known in Malaysia after Im Not Okay and Helena released which are in this year. I think she is lying bcoz MCR's first album, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love is not exist in Malaysia. If she knew MCR in late 2003 she must knew other bands too. She must atleast, put other bands name on her page. If she really into underground's music. That's what im trying to say. Only people into underground's music will knew about MCR when their first album was released.. And she didn't seems to be one of them. Not only that, i checked her comments from the last page and yeah. The prove is there. She's totally lying. Her first comment was posted in late 2004 and NONE of her friends write any words about MCR. Not even 'Gerard'. Then, the first comment says about MCR was posted in August 2005. See?! That's when Helena video clip was released! Plus, her friends even comment bout her background. Yeah! She put Gerard wallpaper as a background. It's Gerard. Not My Chemical Romance!

3. Im not really believe her about "2005 is like the best ''get to know gerard'' time". If she has knew MCR for a long time, she must can handle the obsession thing now.

4. She fought with her parents just to get MCR's stuff online and tried many things?! Man! That's so pathetic. She sounds to be proud of it.

5. Aww..you don't get what i mean by senior fans isn't it? I mean by "Senior" not the one who support them from beginning. I mean, the older people. The more mature. Don't care whether they new or older fans but the way they thinking that i want you to know. You're still a little kid, ok? Just like me. But, atleast...im not like you..

6. "i'm trying to get close to you"?! She never send me a message. So, since when we're trying to get close to each other?

7. "pliz accept my apology and get it over now"..i accepted her apology but she sounds not too sincere.

In the next message, which she sent 10 min after the first message and im in my bed at that time. She said, she will not forgive me if i didn't apologize to her. And she prays something will happen to me. I don't know whether it is something bad or something good. But, i know, she trying to say 'something bad'. Hey! If you want to prays something bad for someone, Allah will not grant it, ok? Or maybe you the one who will get it! You better watch that! In next message, she wrote like this.

guess what..i nak pegi concert live die kat manhattan nnt..i'll show some pics nanti..i letak kat myspace...tgkla nanti ye..byebye..u takleh ikot..bitch!!

BITCH??! What the hell is that!? But, this time i didn't believe her words! You must be rich enough to go there right? MCR live in Manhattan? When? Next year? Hell no! Right now, MCR are touring Europe. And there are no any news (so far) that they will perform in Manhattan. If im not mistaken, Mikey and Gerard said, they will start recording in this winter. Heh? So, who is the loser right now? Not only that, how come her parents can let her go to watch a gig in Manhattan but having a fight with her when to buy MCR's stuff online? It doesn't make sense to me. But she dare enough to say, she will show the pictures. Oh yeah! We'll see.

Right now, she must thinking that im such a coward for not reply all her crap messages. HEY!! HELLO!! Im not a chicken!! Atleast not with you!! It's just pointless you know! And wasting my time for sure. I don't know who the hell are you and i'll not lost anything if i don' be friends with you! One more thing. If im such a coward, i'll not write these things on my blog. I know, eventually you will read this someday.

Then, i checked her page. She deleted all my comments on her page and her comments on my page. She even deleted me from her friends list. I just feel so bad bcoz she didn't give me a chance to explain it. If she didn't called me Bitch, of course i already apologized to her.

What i can say about this girl is she is so damn pathetic. Immature. Impatient. Teenies. Liar. Show off.

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
Give me a reason to believe

My New Friend

Today i've got a new friend! YAIY! She's from MySpace. *D'oh! MySpace again* Her name is Yi Ming. She's the one who sent me a message first. She got MySpace URL from the MCR board that both of us joined. Yeah, i do remember put my link on the board. I think she wanna know me bcoz im a MCR fan and im from Malaysia. Haha..yeah. She's a Malaysian. Same age with me.

Im so happy to know her and become her friend. Bcoz she seems to be a very cool person. She listen to alternative/rock/indie/metal music. Her favourite bands are MCR and Avenged Sevenfold. It's been a while we've messaging with each other. We not only talking bout MCR, about other things too. Oh yeah. She's into graphic designing too and she has into it for 3 years. Woah! Cool! I've seen only two of her artworks and they are so fucking great. Well, im still learning though.

This is what kind of friends that im looking for on both MySpace and Friendster. Mostly, Malaysian's teenies are looking for a boyfriend and girlfriend. That's why im not really prefer to make friend among Malaysian's teenies, online. Honestly, I think friends that from other countries are more fun to chat with. Eventhough we are so far from them, but after a while messaging and be friend with them, we'll concern and miss them. You know, friends. Even Yi Ming says, she loves more her friends that from other countries too.

I Met Zue!

Me and Zue

YAAAIIYY!!! Today i met Zuria!! I can't believe it finally we made it! This was our second meeting in this year. We met already before. But, today was hilarious bcoz Zue wanted to go to Central Market first...but. Owh yeah! BTW, She's from Sarawak. Okay. We took PUTRA to go there. After we out from station, where is the Central Market? Im not familiar to go to Central Market using PUTRA. Usually, i'll walking from Masjid Jamek PUTRA's station to the Central Market. Haha!

And guess what? We were walking straight to nowhere suddenly, both us stood above Petaling Street threshold. I was like, "Man! That's far!". So, i made a suggestion to Zue if she wants to window shopping at here. She said, Yes. So, we were shopping window here. We bought nothing.

Out from Petaling Street, we're walking again and im started to familiar with the streets and the buildings. Then, i was looking for Nando's restaurant. Yeah! I found it. Now i knew where is my location from the Masjid Jamek Putra's station. So, using my instinct..hehe..finally we found Central Market's green building. Haha! I never thought i would remember and familiar with the streets and the buildings though. Thanks to Farah and Ain for took me walking around KL before this. Hehe..shhhh...my mom doesn't know anything about it..

Zue wants to buy some souvenir for her friends. She said, she never bought anything for her friends everytime she went to KL. They did gave her something though. So, that's why she wants to go to CM. You know, there are alot of souvenir stuff in there. After walking, thinking and shopping window about 30 minutes at here finally Zue decided to buy the cute mugs and put her and her friends name on it. You know, just like the one that Farah gave to me. Tee-hee! And Zue also was bought a button for me and Nana. Hehe..it's nice.

While we were waiting the owner to finish the decoration, we were walking around again. Then i found MCR's album, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. I want to buy it but i was highly doubt bout the originality eventhough the price is RM45.50. Well, if this is a Tower Records i'll buy it without thinking twice. But, this is "....". So i put it back. I was thinking to buy it at Tower Records bcoz we'll go to KLCC after this. After Zue got her souvenirs we headed to KLCC. In KLCC, eagerly i was looking for Tower Records. Blah! Tower Records was closed! I was like, "NOOO!!". This must have to do with the "KLCC Caught In Fire" incident..Haha! Then, Zue took the "KLCC Guide" and looking for another records shop. She suggested to go to EZYvideos. I was like, "Nah! It sells movies not albums." She pushed me and YEAH!! She was right!! I thought EZYvideos only sells movies. So, i bought 'Three Cheers' from the EZYvideos! Im so happy to get the original copy!! But, what suprised me..hehe..the one that i bought is exactly looks same with the one that i saw in CM.

After bought my thing, we were searching Zue's wallet. But, what's the funny things are we were looking for a wallet but Zue go buy another things. Like there are so many resistance to go to the shop. Before the money only left enough to buy the wallet, she bought a sling back and a bracelet from Milk Teddy. There are other things too but i didn't remember very clearly. After bought her wallet at Converse we headed to KFC. YeaH!! I was starving to death at that time. Finally, eat time!! YUMMY!! We took away the meals and ate it in park. Woah! It's so peaceful when we're having our meals. The sky was blue. The air was refreshing. *daydreaming*

After finished eating, the photograph session begun. Hehe..we were taking pictures together and walking around the park. When the clock showed 4.30 p.m, we decided to go back home. I thought we'd bid goodbye in the PUTRA KLCC but we were going to Dang Wangi and took more pictures inside the toilet! Hahah! Taking pictures inside the toilet! What a good thing to do! Finally, we bid goodbye to each other when Zue's train arrived.